Bye Bye, Ichigo!
by Auditory Eden
Summary: It's afternoon at squad Five, and all who are wise are in hiding... Will probably be edited and reposted later. Ichigo/Rukia, with some brotherly Byakuya. Happy Valentine's!


Author: Auditory Eden

Rating: T

Warnings: Some suggestive activity, stopping short of sex.

Notes: And let us have Byakuya exact firey revenge upon his sister's boyfriend!

Bye-Bye Ichigo!

It was after work hours in the Squad Five building-- a time all inhabitants of said squad had learned to dread. Not because their captain was particularly foul-tempered, nothing like that. The problem was more that Kurosaki-taicho's girlfriend, lover, what-have-you, was Kuchiki Rukia, and far from having gone public with this relationship, they hid it at all costs.

Why? Because Kuchiki Byakuya, while not quite a match for Ichigo, was still a force to be reckoned with. And Squad Six being not fifty feet away didn't much help matters.

When four o'clock came around, Squad Five tended to run for cover, because that was when Rukia came over from Squad Thirteen to visit the overworked captain. This visit usually resulted in some less-than-innocent kissing, although very rarely anything more. However, if Byakuya were ever, _ever_, to get wind of their little tryst, well...

The Apocalypse would come to Squad Five.

xXx

Ichigo slammed his head down on the desk, amongst his piles of paperwork. His fifth seat, a mousy-looking girl with an OCD streak, had neatly organized all such papers into bins. On his right, the in-boxes, labeled "urgent", "The Boring Stuff", and "totally useless". On his left, the out-boxes, "for Yama-ji", "for people who matter", and "for the paper shredder".

This system tended to work pretty well, churning out many piles of completed paperwork a day. But today, the seat who usually got the forms to the people who needed them had called in sick, and the desk was overflowing. Furthermore, another six of his squad had called in with a similar malady, as had about a third of the Seirei-tei. He simply couldn't spare another person to deliver the blasted paper.

Just as he started to dip the brush for the next round of signing (why did Soul Society require everything in _triplicate_?), the door to his office opened quietly.

A soft sigh escaped Rukia's lips. "You should stop doing this to yourself, Ichigo."

She walked around the desk, and draped herself over his shoulders. He closed his eyes and allowed himself a few seconds of relief, then plunged ahead.

She waited a few more moments before intoning, "I realize you don't want to end up almost a decade behind in paperwork like Hitsugaya-taicho, but this is ridiculous."

"I usually have it all done by now." He ground out, fighting the massive headache threating as a result of eyestrain. The brush stroked the paper as Ichigo resolutely signed his name at the bottom of a form regarding the treatment of an injured squad member. "What's morphine?"

Her fingers drifted up to tuck a small piece of hair behind her ear. "Painkiller. Narcotic, probably, or they wouldn't need you to sign a release form." Rukia laughed quietly. "I don't come here to help you with medical forms, Ichigo. Are you going to finish soon, or do I need to go hang out with Renji instead?"

Ignoring her words in favor letting his head fall onto her arm, face peaceful, he whispered, "Don't even think about it. I don't want to have to fight for you, Rukia."

A satisfied grin graced her lips, and she tugged the brush out of his hand, covering the ink and setting the brush next to it. She then proceeded to wrap her arms more tightly around Ichigo's shoulders, burying her face in the fabric of his collar.

Ichigo could feel the goosebumps rising on his arms from Rukia's hot breath on his neck. Even so, it was so quiet, so peaceful, the sun beginning to set, bathing the room in dusty orange through the blinds. He sighed, and, turning, gathered the small form of his beloved into his arms, placing gently on his lap, letting her snuggle as close as she liked. Yes, this was surely heaven, paperwork be damned. Rukia's warm little body curled up to his chest, in his arms...

"Ichigo...?" Her voice was muffled in the folds of his haori. Next thing he knew, her deep blue eyes were gazing up at him owlishly. Her irises seemed lighter, a little glazed. A delicate blush was spread over her cheekbones, and she seemed to be shaking slightly in his arms. A tear slipped down her cheek, running to her chin, where it dropped to her haori.

"Rukia? Are you alri-!" His concern was cut off abruptly by a firm kiss.

As the pressure she applied was reciprocated, the kiss grew deeper, lips opening, tongues clashing. But Ichigo was unusually intuitive tonight. Usually, Rukia tasted kind of like cinnamon, but this kiss...This kiss was flavored with tears...

Their lips parted reluctantly, and he was first to open his eyes. Tears were flowing unchecked over her face, more quickly than he could wipe them away.

Rukia gasped a little as she spoke, "Gomen, Ichigo, I-I...." A sob racked her body, and Ichigo embraced her, tucking her head into the crick of his neck. The vibrations from her shaking crying shook his frame slightly as he waited out the storm.

When her tears had abated slightly, he asked, "So, do I want to know what that was about?"

She shrugged. "I just...How long can we do this? This secretive meeting." Her next breaths were less shaky. "I'm not saying I mind...I just worry. What if it gets out, and Nii-sama...." His hands cup her face, thumbs tracing over her lids. "And I'm the heir to the Kuchiki. What if the elders force me into a political engagement?"

He hugged her tightly. "Hey, don't worry about that. I doubt Byakuya-san would let them. And plus," he grinned wolfishly, "you're already engaged."

Silence reigned momentarily. "And I'm assuming that that's your crude and arrogant way of asking me to marry you?"

"Nope!" Her eye twitched. "That's my crude and arrogant way of _informing_ you that you _are_ marrying me."

"Ichigo..." the threat inherent in her tone wiped the grin right off his face.

"Okay! Okay! You want a proposal and all that?" He bodily picked her up, stood up, then deposited her her on his chair, kneeling before her.

"Kuchiki Rukia," he enunciated dramatically. His next words, however, were quieter, more serious, almost pleading. "Will you marry me?"

Her lips curved into a smile. "Of course, Ichigo." He smiled, and leaned up to kiss her. It was sweet and chaste, and spoke volumes. When they broke, he whispered, "I don't have a ring or anything..."

She laughed, suddenly cheerful again, and leaned forwards till she fell off the chair and into his arms. "No? Then I guess you'll just have to show me how much you mean it another way...." she trailed off suggestively. The wolfish grin returned as he scooped her up and carried her across the room to the couch that, strictly speaking, was for people visiting the taicho's office to sit on. The truth was, he often made more use of it than anyone.

This was where he deposited his black-haired spitfire, whose giggles were coming in hiccups at his antics. Once more he kneeled, taking her into his arms without pulling her off the couch, kissing her senseless. Rukia rose somewhat, pressing as much of her torso as possible to Ichigo's. A strangled moan slipped from her lips, and her fingers grasped the front of his haori, dragging him towards her as she leaned back. Finally, he simply rolled over her so he lay next to her, against the back of the couch.

Rukia's leg curled around his, and they pressed together as tightly as possible, a soft mewl issuing from her throat. He rolled on top of her, holding his weight on his forearms, and kissed her so very deeply and thoroughly that she found she was having some serious trouble getting oxygen. His lips began to trail to her jawline, then lower...

When he reached the neck of her haori, he simply began pushing the fabric down, exposing more skin.

An intense blush was rising over her body, a combination of the heat of the situation and extreme embarrassment. His lips trailed a little lower, grazing the beginning of the swell of her breast, and her breath caught.

The door slammed open, revealing a stony-faced Byakuya, followed by a flustered Renji. His grey eyes searched the room before coming to rest on a shocked Ichigo, lying half-shirtless on top of Rukia, whose neckline was far too open to be entirely decent.

They all froze. A deep blush decorated the features of the apprehended lovers, while Byakuya's countenance had just turned form grave to fuming. Renji was approximately the same shade as his hair.

"Um...Nii-sama...!" Rukia's hands flew to her chest, tugging the fabric of her haori up as quickly as possible.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, please get off my sister," Byakuya grated out. His order was followed quickly; disobedience would be of no help to their cause. Rukia also stumbled to her feet, carefully rearranging her disheveled clothes.

"Kurosaki-taicho..."

"H-Hai, Kuchiki-taicho?"

"You have, in the past, been of great help to me and Soul Society, so I will be kind...."

The couple exchanged glances. The words "kind" and "Byakuya" did not belong in the same dictionary, let alone the same sentence.

"And give you a five second head start."

Oh dear....

"Please use it wisely."

Renji glanced at Ichigo. "Run like hell, " he sagely advised.

"One."

Rukia seconded that opinion. "Really, Ichigo. Preferably before he kills you?"

"Two."

He ground his teeth. "I'm working on that."

"Three."

Byakuya reached for his zanpakto.

"Four."

Ichigo squeezed Rukia's hand before using shunpo to dart out the window and away faster than she could blink.

"Five. Ban-kai." Byakuya dropped the sword into the ground. "Senbonzakura." He then proceeded to follow Ichigo with murder in his eyes.

After an awkward silence, Renji cleared his throat. "Never thought I'd see you two...like that..." She remained silent. "I hope you're not hoping to get him back in one piece...Byakuya might just kill him." Her eye twitched. "And, man, I never thought I'd see that. My retinas are burning."

Her screech of "Renji!!!!" mixed with the screams of a certain orange haired captain, some distance away.

xXx

Four Hours Later

xXx

The Kuchiki siblings sat side-by-side outside the door of a room in Squad Four's building. One was stony-faced, the other abashed.

"Nii-sama?""

"Hn." She fell silent once more. Her hand drifted to the place a slight purplish blotch was rising on her breast. No one needed to know about that...ever.

"Um...." she restarted, "I have something to tell you..."

He glared at her balefully. "Would it have anything with a secret relationship between yourself and the fifth division captain?"

"Erm...yes?" He sighed, resignation radiating off his body.

"It cannot be worse than what I have seen this afternoon."

Her face brightened. "So you won't kill him when I tell you that we're engaged?"

He looked at her in shock before standing up and striding purposefully into the hospital room housing both the Squad Five captain and the Squad Six vice-captain.

From beyond the door, Rukia could hear Hanataro saying, "Kuchiki-dono, I'm sorry, but you can't-- What are you doing! He's injured!"

"Senbonzakura!" Rukia winced. This could be an extremely long struggle...

xXx

Parting Comments: I had way too much fun with this. Way, way, way too much. I mean really. And who hasn't merrily imagined Byakuya bankai-ing Ichigo across the Seretei? No, really.

Feedback is loved!

Hugs and Kisses

Eden


End file.
